Draining drama; the power of NO!

There’s nothing like being carried off into someone else’s slipstream of drama to distract and dislodge you from your own sense of alignment. We all have this inner compass of wanting to those in need, especially if it’s someone close.
We explore Tania’s dilemma of feeling drained and powerless but determined to help her friends change. We turn her outreached hand to help on its head by encouraging Tania to change how she perceives her friends and herself.
Suggestions are offered to maintain her presence and non-judgement in light of the drama, serving as an anchor to raise her vibration and thereby affect her friends positively with minimal energy output.

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If you are wondering how to stop feeling drained around friends, we explore todays question from Tania and she writes…..

“I have a few friends who keep reciting the same stories about relationships and work. Either there are no good men out there or there are power struggles at work. How do I help my friends when they are struggling and not get drawn into the drama? It usually results in me feeling heavy and drained after our conversations. I know I can help but don’t know how.”

You cannot help anyone lift their mood or see differently if you join them where they reside vibrationally. The thoughts and emotions they are expressing have a vibration all wrapped up into a story of their making and you are joining them in their script but here’s the thing, your intuitive self knows you don’t belong in their script. This is why you are feeling heavy and drained.

When they continue to recite the complaint and problem, all attention focuses on what isn’t working. And nothing can be resolved at the level of the mind which continues to focus on what’s wrong.

Your friends can only remain in this contracted state for so long before someone or something is sought out to create relief but does not necessarily birth a realisation.

Expressing the problem also is a means of releasing the pent up thoughts and emotions, making the other the enemy or problem.

Offering solutions or empathising may temporarily offer relief as attention and energy is donated to their plight. But it’s not dealing with the root cause.

I’ll give you an example.

A while ago I met a woman who was telling me her co-workers were jealous and out to get her by setting her up for failure. She had created a story to justify why she wasn’t liked. The real issue was about the emotion of being rejected and alienated but hid the real pain and deflected continuously with the jealousy story.  Because she wouldn’t bring awareness to these emotions, the story became more entrenched and she became unhappier.

Your awareness of the situation by seeing the root cause can serve to prevent you from trying to fix them or relieve their pain. It’s not your job to be the dump bucket, although making suggestions without attachment, lightens you of responsibility and stops the energy leak.

Anytime you are focused on them and you are present, they will benefit.

When you are practicing non-judgement and stillness, it’s your radiance which will be received because you are hooked in with source. From this place wisdom flows through you to reach their essence of being, existing beyond the mind.

You can help to create the experience of transformation through listening, being actively present and in non-judgement as the dysfunction of the mind is activated. It creates the space for them to go deeper to access clarity.

Through your presence, you are bringing them back to “now” out of the past, into the present.

Gentle questions with presence can be posed,

why do you believe this is occurring?

Has it happened before?

How are you feeling?

Be aware when they revert to describing the situation – reverting back to elements of the story, to avoid the feeling.

If this fails to work, as it can take a little practice to be present without slipping into their state of drama or take on the responsibility to form solutions, then compassionately remove yourself to maintain your energy and vitality.

Thank you for your question Tania

And thank you for watching. Any comments, pls post below in the comments section and If anyone has a question about love, life, business or wealth, click on the link below. I look forward to answering it.

Until next time,

Live your dream